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35 Funny Mustache Jokes & Quotes to Give You A Good Laugh

Having good jokes or funny mustache quotes in your pocket is a great way to break the ice. If you love men with beards, then you are sure to love these 35 great mustache quotes and jokes.


Comical Jokes and Quotes about Mustache

Check these funny mustache jokes & quotes to tickle your funny bone. Don’t forget to share with your friends & family.

1. Some men have a mid-life crisis and end up buying a small car to feel better about themselves. Real men grow mustaches and get over it.

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2. What do you call a man without a mustache? Jealous.


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3. There’s no man who is so handsome that he won’t look better with a mustache.


4. Mustaches are what separates real men from boys.


5. How do you tell the difference between a man with a mustache and a man without a mustache? The man with a mustache is the attractive one.

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6. Growing a mustache is a rite of passage that shows men that a man has finally decided to grow up and take care of himself.


7. Growing a mustache is a man’s way of taking control of his life and deciding that he wants to be more attractive.


8. There’s nothing better looking than a man with a thick, cared-for mustache.


9. Real men grow mustaches while boys simply wish that they could and spend the rest of their lives jealous.

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10. What’s the most important and manly thing that a man can do? Grow a mustache and keep it in great condition.


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11. The bigger the mustache and the better its appearance, the manlier the man.


12. What’s worse than a man having a small mustache that he doesn’t take care of? A man not having any mustache at all.


13. The better groomed a man’s mustache, the better he takes care of himself in all other aspects of his life.

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14. What’s the best and fastest way for a man to become much more attractive to everyone around him? Grow a mustache.


15. A man without a mustache is like a taking a trip to the beach and having it be cloudy out the entire time you are there.


16. How are mustaches similar to great cheese and fine wine or whiskey? They always get better with time and are worth the wait.


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17. A great mustache makes every man look and acts even better than before, no matter how amazing he was when he first started growing out his facial hair.

funny quotes about mustache


18. When looking for a strong and capable man, always look for a man who has a great mustache.


19. What’s one thing that you can easily tell when you choose a man for his mustache? He’ll be patient and he knows the importance of waiting for good things to happen.


20. Having a mustache is a great way to show the world that you are committed to seeing things through and that you are a manly man.

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21. Going for a mustache requires a thoughtful decision. The line between looking cool and looking like you’re about to invade Poland is quite thin.

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22. Good mustaches look handsome, distinctive, and even elegant. Bad mustaches look like someone misread Dallas Buyers Club.

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23. Movember is a very important time. It allows us to separate the men who look handsome with a mustache from the ones who should quickly sign a sponsorship with Gillette.

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24. Mustaches and hipster men go hand-in-hand like peanut butter and jelly, Michael Phelps and gold medals, or Kim Kardashian and divorce lawsuits.

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25. The barber took care of my mustache today. Now I look trimmingdously handsome.

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26. Don’t listen to people who criticize mustaches. Simply brush off their opinions.

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27. Men with mustaches love gossip as they always have something to whisker on your ears.

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28. A man with a mustache? Now that’s a razor-sharp mind.

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29. My barber suggested a color change for my mustache to make it more interesting. I told him I’d dye before doing that.

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30. Some men prefer to shave every morning. They think facial hair is a mistache.

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31. Santa isn’t allowed to wear a mustache. Apparently it’s written in his Clause.

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32. Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Give a man a mustache and he’ll seduce fishermen…into giving away their prey.

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33. It takes balls to grow a ‘stache.

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34. Is Charlie late to the party? He mustach a good reason.

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35. Honey-in-mustach > Honey mustard.

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As you can see, there are a lot of funny mustache jokes that you can enjoy. Use one of these mustache quotes or jokes the next time that you need to break the ice.